God Doesn't Break Marriages - We Do

My Story: ("those of you who will just judge me anyway or those of you who will just take this page for granted, can just check-out now & close this page - all others read on")

The 2 strands represent husband & wife.  The 3rd strand represents God.  Some married Christian couples may believe, because they're followers of Jesus, that nothing horrible can happen to their marriage (yes, even Pastors & Elders) until they're caught

My wife & I met in 2011 on a Christian dating site (I was in the USA, she was in another Country).  Through our 1 year+, communicating, we fell in love.  She came to the USA and we were married in 2012.  Our first 3 years were the best, then in 2015 the unthinkable happened with me - James 1:14-15 happened

I never thought in a million years that I could be tempted to be unfaithful; especially since I was a pillar with-in the Church and so many other believers looked up to me but, what was even worse than that, my wife trusted me.  My infidelities started out small with temptation then they gave birth to sin, then my sin became full grown and became death ("doesn't matter how it happened, I still allowed it to happen")

Later on, I was like - "how could or why would God want to use me for any ministry after what I did to my wife"?  God used many flawed and sinful people in the Bible to accomplish His purposes, because everyone in scripture except Jesus Christ sinned
**King David: He committed adultery with Bathsheba and arranged the murder of her husband Uriah  (2 Samuel 11:4, 15), yet God called him "a man after my heart" (Acts 13:22)  and used him to lead Israel and write many Psalms
**Moses: He murdered an Egyptian taskmaster in anger  (Exodus 2:11-12)  and later disobeyed God by striking a rock instead of speaking to it  (Numbers 20:11-12), but God chose him to lead the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt
**The Apostle Paul (Saul): He aggressively persecuted, imprisoned, and approved the killing of early Christians  (Acts 8:3, 9:1-2)  before God transformed his life to write a large portion of the New Testament and spread the gospel to the Gentiles
**Abraham: He lied out of fear on multiple occasions by claiming his wife Sarah was only his sister  (Genesis 12:13, 20:2), yet God established His covenant through him as the father of many nations
**Peter: He acted out of cowardice and fear, openly denying Jesus three times when Jesus was put on trial  (Matthew 26:69-75), but Jesus later restored him and used him as a foundational leader in the early church
**Rahab: She worked as a prostitute in Jericho  (Joshua 2:1), yet God used her faith to protect Israelite spies and included her in the lineage of Jesus  (Hebrews 11:31, Matthew 1:5)

FYI: whomever the Father calls to do His will, the Father doesn't need to check-in with anyone else first because the Father acts completely according to His own sovereign will and counsel without needing permission or advice from anyone

Anyway, this went on till 2022.  In 2022 my wife had enough and left me.  I was now alone.  My wife leaving me was a huge wakeup call.  I found myself on my knees crying out to God - hearing within the ear of my heart "if you talk to anyone you'll be ashamed" - "better you don't face anyone" - "if you do talk to anyone, everyone will judge you"

This went on and on then, one day the Holy Spirit really showed me through James 5:16, 1 John 1:9, Proverbs 28:13, Revelation 12:10 that the enemy didn't want me to talk to anyone, not because I'd be exposed, but because the enemy would be exposed.  Just like my wife, who had enough of my lies, I had enough of the enemies lies so I said "No More satan"  (I'll never give satan a capitol 'S')

("Both married before the Father becoming one flesh.  Divorcing before the Father is like taking that same one piece of flesh and ripping it into two pieces")

If you think you can hide your sin or hide in your sin, I promise, the Father will bring your sin into the open (not just adultery either but, any sin).  God's word (the Bible) states that secret actions cannot stay hidden. God sees everything done in secret, and passages like Luke 12:2-3, Numbers 32:23, Proverbs 28:13, Hebrews 4:13, Ecclesiastes 12:14 explain that hidden things will be made known

Has my wife forgiven me?  - She said she has.  Has the Father forgiven me?  - Yes.  Have I forgiven myself?  - That's still a work in progress.  What about the consequences?  Although the Father has forgiven me and I've been restored back to the Father,  I still have consequences the rest of my life.  Does my wife trust me today?  - No, and for good reason; I really hurt her and broke her trust.  Can my wife still choose to divorce me today or even years later? - Yes and she most likely will, because biblically she can.  Being forgiven from heaven above doesn't excuse me from consequences here on earth which were due to my infidelities / sin / wrongdoings  (look at the thief on the cross - the thief's forgiveness guaranteed his eternal salvation and presence with Christ,  but it did not remove the earthly or legal consequences of his crimes)  however, because I am forgiven and restored back to the Father, my focus still needs to be Jesus - even though I'm rejected by my wife

The best thing you can do Married Men Of God for your wife when she goes to work or anytime you're not legitimately with her so it's not in the back of her mind "what's he doing now?", is to let her use a tracking App (like 'Find My' for iPhone and 'Google Maps Sharing' for Android) so she'll always know where you are.  Also, give her the password to both your cell phone and PC

I'm still Owen, I'm still broken in Christ, I still get tempted, I still look the same, I'm still loud, I still have my quirks, I'm still hyper, I still have PTSD (from my horrible Army Tank accident) & ADHD, I'm still rough around the edges, I'm still aggressive, I'm still a Filmmaker and always will be.  The only difference now is, I'll be breathing life into any & all relationships; not death

Married Men Of God - "Remember, when both of your cords get broken and you think there is no hope, Jesus will remind you that He's that 3rd cord which has always held you two together"

Married Men Of God, although I'll have to move forward in life without her, my prayer is that you & your wife chose to keep your marriage and make your marriage work in Christ

Married Men Of God, if we don't keep ourselves busy with Jesus, the enemy will keep us busy.  If you are going through the same thing as me, you're not alone.  Please email me at owenhisle@gmail.com.  Let's get together for coffee, we'll invite Jesus, you talk, I'll listen and the 3 of us we'll pray together